Modern Family of India

I love the American Sitcom "Modern Family". The comic web series traverses various aspects of the American society, be it immigration, multiculturalism, democracy, racism, feminism and patriotism. My story is heavily inspired from it but with an Indian perspective. Welcome to my Modern Family of India...Welcome to my Indic Universe...

Chitra, a professor of psychology, rubs off her white board, writes "Social Psychology" on it, adjusts her spectacles up on her nose, places some of her black hair strands behind her ears and turns towards students to say

" Let me voice my opinions. We pray to Hindu Goddesses. Durga and Saraswati symbolises Power and Knowledge respectively. Similarly Goddess Laxmi equates to Money. Since the beginning of a patriarchal society we have seen men being the greatest contenders of money, power and knowledge. Men compete among themselves for it and Great Men are acknowledged on the basis of recognition earned via holding power, money and being superior in knowledge. 

Oedipus Complex in it's most diluted term refers to our famous saying of "Ma ka Ladla" or a "Mumma's Boy". Adventures of Huckleberry Finn reflects upon the brain of a teenager boy who with his antics tries to woo his female counterpart. All references indicate a view of a divine feminine for whom the masculine completely bows down. In Ancient India due importance was given to the divine feminine who not only was adnored with jewels and fine fabrics but was also connoted with crucial virtues required for a man to survive. In our Indic tradition when the male Hindu devotee bows down before the divine feminine, the beauty of opposite attraction does it's magic and gifts the "ashirwad" of power, money and knowledge. 

Similarly, Let's talk about female hindu devotees, Anjaniputra Hanuman Ji resembles chastity of thoughts. A point arrives where he's himself unaware how much powerful he is. His innocence takes him far to the sun for believing it to be a mango. This soft feature of innocence is a very appreciated aspect of feminine beauty. Stories of Hanuman Ji and for that matter even Krishna and Ram, narrates the plotlines with their mothers. Thus inhibiting the values of motherhood in a young female devotee. That's how narrative is set. 

Krishna ji is a playful master manipulator. Some women are often remarked for this aspect as well. Ram Ji is embodiment of good character. Character, unfortunately, is like a measurement tool in our society to assess a woman's worth. Anyways a person of good character irrespective of gender goes way ahead in life. So with male and female gods and goddesses social fabric of our Society is constructed. Any arguments or counter arguments on my opinion? Anyone?" 

"Do you guys think I am right?..…Anyone who wants to say anything?Hello!!!! 

"Okay let's understand that women are often objectified right?

Please stop using phones and laptop and please bear with me. Women are often objectified in society but in Ancient era, Objects were Women. I mean that natural resources were considered feminine by nature. Overexploitation of nature let's say rivers is like crossing boundaries.... similar to the agency a woman gives to her male counterpart regarding touching her. 

Her male colleague may not keep hands on her shoulders without her consent but her boyfriend can freely hug her. Ethical boundaries if established with nature results in a more eco friendly and sustainable environment where our needs are fulfilled by obtaining water from the river and the river's resources are also kept healthy." 

Tring.....Bell rings.... Students gush out immediately. Dejected Chitra feels that no one cares about her lecture. She goes home. Her house is a mess created by her nine year old son with toy cars, toy trucks and Cheetos spread all over the floor. She immediately begins to clean up. She expects her middle child Kusha to help her but she's busy coding on her computer alongside listening to metal music. Her daughter dreams of working in the US and has adorned her study table with the American flag. She instead of helping Chitra, removes the headphones and tells her mom to do her laundry since she's busy. Chitra agrees and tries to seek help from her first child, her daughter Rohini . Rohini is busy making some benign Instagram reels. Chitra knows about Rohini having crush on some non Hindu boy in her college. Chitra goes to Parag,her husband to complaint about her teen daughter's obnoxious reel making but Parag who's busy with his work from home based online meeting ignores Chitra and hands over a wedding reception card which is due for tonight. He doesn't say anything but his body language conveys Chitra to iron his traditional bandhgala for the event. Poor Chitra irons up her Banarsi Sari and Parag's Bandhgala suit and crisps up the fabric of his favourite Pashmina shawl. Chitra yells at her daughters to give her their favourite outfits they are interested to wear for tonight's party. This time the girls naturally obey and Chitra irons up a Bandhani Lengha for Rohini and a Kalamkari printed crop top and long skirt for Kusha. 

Chitra's brother Mickey is lying on the Sofa, absurdly munching loads of caramel popcorn and watching a bollywood movie which Chitra hates since it's built on a propogandist narrative. Chitra conveys Mickey information regarding the wedding reception they are invited to attend. Mickey stops the TV and begins reading the wedding card all aloud. Then out of no where Luv, her son arrives and offers Chitra a glass of water filled up weirdly to the very rim along with her favourite Besan ka Ladoo. Looking at him,Chitra melts with a wide smile. She starts cuddling her baby, sips water and relaxes on the couch. She switches off the movie and both mom and son starts watching the Kabbadi championship airing live. 

All of a sudden, Mickey's live in partner Karan arrives and joins the son and mom duo with the match. Karan says, "Hey Chitra, I have something serious to talk about." 

Luv interrupts in between with his monster growling. Chitra says, " I know you want me to talk to my Dad nicely. Anyways he's gonna come to the wedding reception tonight." 

Luv begins jumping on Chitra's lap and Karan fixes him aside to talk to her convineantly. 

"No it's about your Mom Chitra." says Karan.

Chitra raises her eyebrows and places back the glass in her hand and shifts her attention to Karan immediately. 

" Oh My God!!!! Mom...Damn....What did she say? Where is she??? How's her new husband?? Was she talking about me or she has forgotten about this family and especially me!" 

Second daughter interrupts, "you are also terrible mom....you didn't care about visiting and accepting Nana's second wedding. He's much better than Nani. At least he cares about us. He deserves happiness too. Hindus are truly secular and liberal.At least we should know who she is....his new wife deserves our recognition.She must be old and looking for a new family....Why women can't get acceptance easily. It isn't that she replaced Nani instead she has simply filled the void created by Nani in Nana's life." 

Chitra falls silent and gets up from the sofa furiously. 

"Calm down Chitra your mom loves you too. Actually she told her plans of changing her career from that of a tarot card reader to that of a vedic astrologer since it is valued more and better money is in the latter" Says Karan. 

Chitra face palms and snatches laptop from Kusha to google something. 

Karan asks " What happened. What are you doing at the laptop." 

Kusha says "Mom Do you want to know if Grand Ma's fortune telling nonsense has any channel on YouTube?" 

Chitra nods. 

Kusha changes the TV settings and opens YouTube on TV. Karan remarks Kusha for being the smartest and the most tech savvy. All three begins to search Nani's youtube channel. Kusha tries taking her laptop back but Rohini snatches it this time to edit her reels. Rohini and Kusha argues and in that Rohini reveals that Nani's youtube channel ID is "Tarane Taro Ke." 

Chitra types it amidst honking noises from Luv's mouth and stupid arguments between the sisters. Karan shouts at the kids and disciplines them all and Nani's video pops up. Chitra is in tears. "Wow I am looking at my ugly mother finally after two years." 

Karan remarks, " Oh She's gonna come live in minutes. Luv go call your Mickey Mama here." 

The youtube goes live and everyone including Parag starts watching the live video." 

The video goes live. Nani comes on the screen. All looks at her intently. A tear drop goes down Mickey's eyes. Parag places his hand on his shoulder to comfort him. 

"Hello....my tarot lovers....how are you guys. Today's energy is something that I am very interested to navigate through my senses. Call on the below number for your personalized reading. Today I am missing my children Chitra and Mickey so much therefore I am wearing this MC locket today." 

Chitra and Mickey looks at each other and feels awkward at the double meaning of MC connotation. On a live chat, someone comments that the MC locket suits only her but instead of understanding the insult in that comment, Nani goes on thanking to the fellow commentator. Nani on live video gets a call from Indore. She places tilak on Mahadev's picture on her wall and starts spreading the deck of card by invoking the blessings of archangel Raphael. She says some sort of Christian lore and ends her invocation with Jai Mata Di and asks the caller in line to ask her question. 

" Mam will my boyfriend ever marry me in future. asks the caller online. A series of conversations are exchanged between the two. Finally Nani asks, " How come your parents talk so much to your boyfriend. Are you people family friends?" 

Caller says, "No Mam he's my cousin. My boyfriend is my aunt's son." 

Nani stops playing with her deck of cards and feels awkward and shocked. Nani asks, "Your name is Isha right?" 

Caller responds, "No Mam, Iqra. I'm not Isha, I'm Iqra Khan from Indore. Will my boyfriend asks out for my hand in front of abbu?" 

Nani falls silent for a while. She immediately takes up another person's call.

Parag laughs watching the situation and Nani on live video becomes victim of criticism in the comment section for changing her body language when the caller turned out to be of a religion of her dislike. Nani in her defence comes out to say, "That she dislikes no religion but feels awkward and embarrassed regarding incest and cousin marriages." 

Chitra turns off the video and takes a huge sigh in pain and goes silent. Karan asks if Mickey wants to ask his mom anything on live video but he and Chitra both denies to indulge any further. Karan explains that her new husband convinced her to stop being an activist and feminist and told her to stop supporting the communists and socialist parties since his news channel no longer sponsers that ideology. Luv interrupts again with his sword fights to catch attention. 

Mickey starts to lurk on other news related youtube channel and clicks on news on Gloria, A Russian bar dancer who left all sorts of riches in quest of seeking God and has joined Varanasi and has attained various scriptural knowledge regarding Ved, Purana and Upanishads and has now shifted to Vrindavan in praise of lord Krishna. News regarding her getting married again is getting viral ever since she said about having an epileptic son from her previously failed marriage. 

In a jiffy Parag says, "Wow. Look on this Russian beauty." He sits close to Chitra, brings her in his arms and again says, "What a beauty. Do you like her fashion Chitra. I bet you would want her earrings." 

"Don't try to make up for it mister!!" she places hand on his mouth and continues "She's gonna marry an Indian dude and would take up Indian citizenship. Soon she will be paraded in our country like anything as if she's the true sole devotee of Krishna Ji left on this earth....huh." 

Rohini says, "Mom looks sell everytime. She's of the likes of Angelina Jolie and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan. Instead of becoming an actress she's into spiritual life which garners attention." 

Mickey gets up from his sofa....Makes fun of this YouTube sensation Gloria Dinners....he types dirty comments calls her a Russian stripper....Someone who can be bought in 6000 rupees....Mimics her Accent....He mocks her accent and says "she's obviously trying to impress the right wing in India by her extreme Krishna Bhakti...."

Chitra's second daughter says that Gloria is a wannabe hindu and gold digger who has as per a rumour changed under the influence of an Indian businessman.... Chitra's first daughter confronts.....that it could be actual love....her devotion to Krishna....Bhakti.....living in India past 8 years , Rohini states "why wouldn't she find someone here".....Chitra confronts Rohini and asks "If you respect Krishna Bhakti so much why don't you leave your non Hindu bf" 

Agitated Rohini begins arguing....Screaming in the house begins....Parag eases out the ladies...Parag instructs everyone to get dressed for the wedding reception. Luv, Karan and Mickey wears crisp Chikankari, Batik and Ajrak Kurta respectively. The sisters get all dressed up too. Chitra also completes her makeup and awaits for her Dad to arrive in a big car to take all of us to the wedding venue. 

Jai arrives with Gloria....

All shocked....

All greet Gloria....

Karan: So my fil has a Russian ... Mickey pinches Karan. Karan deletes his bad tweets and youtube comments regarding Gloria and shakes hand. He begins talking about Nirvana....Gloria nods ...Chitra is still shocked....

Parag: ....Also to announce that he has been chosen as the principal commentator of the Cricket Association of our Society. 

Children: Grand Pa!!!!

Chitra:Dad... You married... how much younger is she..

Jai: She's a year older to you....

Chitra: Dad that's your excuse....What example are you setting of 

Jai: Well that of a Modern Family of India!!!!